Saturday, November 5, 2011

Apologies

So given that it's been almost a month since I've posted I thought I'd just quickly bring you up to speed with why I started this blog, let it gain momentum, and have since let that momentum die in the ass.

time to fuck up 99% of shit - that might be me on the left

1. The mixture of end of year assessments, exam preparation and my hanus, soul-sucking job I haven't really had the time.
2. I was kidnapped by the KGB for a week, spending my time in an internment camp just outside St Petersburg. Luckily a beautiful woman named Nadia smuggled me out between her bosoms.
3. I had to 'milk' all the horses at the Melbourne Cup
4. I've been 'occupying' Sydney/Melbourne/Brisbane, before going and putting on a police costume and coming back to mercilessly beat my 'fellow' protesters. I gave it my 99%
5. I've been writing a pilot for the ABC. Its half reality show, half drama. I call it 'Javid slaps people'
6. I've been working on a cure for hayfever, also known as a bullet to the head
7. I was part of the Queens personal entourage while she was in the country. In one instance a shortage of chairs required me to... be her stool.
8. I've been fighting for pro-Gaddafi forces in Libya. Didn't go very well.. thank god we got him out and put in the doub.... I mean.. I've said too much.
9. My blog is hosted by QANTAS
10. I've been orchestrating the coup to get Kevin Rudd back in charge... and I hate that guy

OK so maybe only one of those is true. Theres a very good chance of it. Still I hope the others managed to entertain you. I WILL be back, although probably not till the end of the month, so I wish you all a nice few weeks to keep you occupied and I'll entertain you soon with hatred/comedy/frustration directed at:

- Vodafone
- Teenagers (as usual)
- Customers
- Employers
- Left-wing extremists
- Koala bears

and a WHOLE bunch of other stuff. Thinking Out Loud will be back, it will continue. I just need the time to stop thinking about Uni crap.

Until next time