Why I Quit Vodafone

5 Months ago I did something I haven’t done in years – I changed my mobile phone provider. This wasn’t because I found a better deal elsewhere, had reached the end of a contract, changed where I lived or anything of that ilk. I left Vodafone Australia for a multitude of reasons that essentially came down to the fact that they couldn’t even provide me with the basic services most people take for granted. Since doing my own reading around social networking I’ve realised that the term ‘most people’ needs to be redefined to ‘people who aren’t on Vodafone’.

I joined Voda a while ago, from Optus. My ex girlfriend worked for them and could get me a good deal on a prepaid package and a new handset when it really was time for me to get one. I should have seen it coming then to be honest. I got the phone home and within a week I could barely get half a bar of reception in my own house. The ex and I returned to my local Vodafone store to receive no analysis of ANYTHING, I was just handed a new handset. For a while this seemed ok until it all started again. I know from back in the early Optus days that my house seems to be at the fringes of about 4-5 different reception areas, and the phone constantly changes between them depending on what room of the house I’m in and no doubt which way the wind is blowing. I ended up taking my SIM card out of the phone and putting it in an older model I got off my brother, and for a while things were fine..... For a while.....

I’ll get my first gripe out of the way nice and early. Given that she worked for the company in question, it never occurred to me the resources that my ex had. It turns out she spent a good month or two accessing my customer profile and history to see who I’d been messaging, who I’d been calling, feeding her paranoid insecurities to the point where she came clean with it all. This put everything out of context between us and there’s no point going into the way it affected our relationship but the point I’m trying to make is that the people at Vodafone, perhaps someone you know, perhaps an ex or current partner with massive insecurities or an enemy who wants to use something against you, can look you up whenever they want. There is seemingly no protocol, no policy or procedure to stop these people accessing your personal info and communications at any time. Given the average age of people who seem to work at Vodafone outlets, I’m sure the majority of them are using their powers to maintain unknown, sketchy info on anyone they want. I felt at the time like I could have got her fired, but I have to wonder if I really could have, and if Vodafone would have to sack the majority of its staff along the same lines. I’ve little doubt our privacy is being invaded every day anyway, but to have it invaded by people you know is just that little bit more unsettling, especially when there’s nothing you can do about it. This was about 3.5 years ago, so these problems existed for a while.

After that personal touch it brings me to the nuts and bolts – SERVICE PROVISION. There are a few reasons we sign up with a telephone company, including the rates and packages they offer. I will not sit here and deny that Vodafone, on paper, offer some fantastic deals. Having the phone and a pay-rate you’re satisfied with is only half the equation, though. Reception in your own house, messages that actually send when your phone says ‘sent’ and the ability to make a call without fear of dropping out all the time are surely the basic services a telco needs to provide, and as every day passed that I was with Vodafone, access to these services diminished more and more. I could have employed carrier pigeons to get my message to someone with more reliability. I ended up making more phone calls from the nearly obsolete land-line phone because I knew then at least I’d be able to finish a conversation.
  

I was also getting a surprising amount of random contacts from people, who would eventually get a hold of me and ask why I hadn’t returned their calls. I had to tell them that not only had I missed their call, I had received no notification of it whatsoever. People would send me messages, or I would send them messages, to no reply. When we finally got the chance to talk a few days later I’d have to explain the situation. I’ve little doubt there are at least some people I used to talk to who probably took this era of my life personally, despite the fact I had no idea they were trying to contact me in the first place. This also put my personal relationships under significant strain and made quick and easy communication difficult, which is not what a phone company is supposed to be about.

Venting my frustration of Twitter (which so many people do – seriously, type in Vodafone AU and see what comes up), my vitriol was responded to by their online department. After answering a multitude of questions it was deemed that the only way I could (MAYBE, not even a guarantee) fix this issue was to change the settings of my phone and reduce it to 2G which means no data access whatsoever but enhanced talk and text. Does anyone else see a problem here? As we welcome the age of 4G and 3G is pretty much the nationwide standard why should I have to downgrade my settings just to be able to do the things I should be able to do anyway? This was the only solution I was offered.

As the weeks and months went by the service got gradually worse and worse to the point where 80% of my messages were not sending (or at least I know 80% weren’t , it could have been more). If you’re a boss and you hire someone and they decide to do their job 20% of the time, if you’re on a sports team and you only play 20% of the season, or if you can only get 20% of an erection before sex ultimately you’re fucked!  If you won a multi-million dollar lottery and they decided to only give you 20% of your winnings you’d be outraged. If I’m in a vegetative state with only 20% mental function I hope someone puts me out of my misery. This was obviously what Vodafone was asking for but for some stupid reason, probably lethargy, I thought I’d give it one more go. Via multiple conversations with multiple people involved, I finally started to get some answers. They weren’t good or helpful, but it was at least more than before.

With thorough investigation and a desire to not quit until we’d received some answers, it was FINALLY determined by the people at Vodafone that there had been ‘a routing issue’ with one of the numbers (obviously mine). Despite the fact that this issue was identified and I asked multiple times how it could have conceivably happened, I received no explanation. After they told me the issue was ‘fixed’ I prompted them again about how this could have happened, to which I received THIS reply:

"Not being of a tech background myself I’m unable to explain why this happened. However now that it has been rectified I’m confident that you would not expect it to happen again."

That was, seriously, all the reply said.

Given that it was obvious this problem had been taking place for years, given my previously unhelpful exchanges both in store and online with Vodafone staff, and given that THEY’RE PROVIDING THE SERVICE surely I deserved answers. There was offer of $10 credit. TEN FUCKING DOLLARS. That’s not an apology, that’s a company slapping you on the forehead with its cock while you sleep and laughing about it. How hard could it conceivably have been to call one of your tech guys and get them to explain it to you so you can repeat it verbatim? I replied with this, and it sums up everything that annoyed me about this experience quite well:

“I appreciate your lack of knowledge on the tech side, but given that you are a multinational company surely it should not be too difficult to find someone who can explain to me what the problem was. Neither I, nor the other people involved in the communications know if we were charged for these messages, but given that we were told they were sent, we imagine so. The fact that these problems occurred for long periods of time and for no doubts hundreds of messages means that in some ways we've probably wasted a decent amount of money on a service we were paying for that never actually worked. 

Vodafone also called me, multiple times yesterday while I was at work to ask about the circumstances under which these difficulties occurred. As I always thought my messages had sent I was unable to provide certain specifics but surely, after that much inquiry, I deserve an answer. If the problem was rectified, it was rectified somehow. For it to have been 'rectified’, something has to have been fixed, it didn't just fix itself. I would appreciate a prompt response regarding this as you have already caused me significant frustration and actually led to me considering switching service providers. 

Figures show you guys are losing hundreds of thousands of customers worldwide. When someone has a serious issue and wants to know what it is that stopped you guys providing the service you're supposed to, to be told that its 'not your background but you can guarantee it won't happen again' is a cop out. Surely if my patronage mattered you would care enough to present us with all the facts and a sincere apology instead of no knowledge and the 'confidence' of someone who doesn't even know what the problem was. 

I await your response”

And you know what, I never got one. This just shows me that I am not a valued customer, but then again the services (or lack of) I was provided with and the (un)helpful suggestions merely emphasised that feeling in the first place. I could rant and rave and keep going but I think the above response sums it up quite beautifully. Who knows, maybe my ex put me on some kind of blacklist when it all ended, to make sure my service would get worse and worse – if she could access my info and was feeling as vindictive as I knew her to be at times it’s entirely possible. But maybe, just maybe, Vodafone is an absolutely appalling service provider, and the social networking posts seem to help the second case more. If they could explain to me what happened, tell me why, apologise and offer SOME kind of remuneration for the fact I went a good 24 months with appalling service, maybe I would have stayed. Like many people, I was stupid enough to believe that a good deal was worth the other, appalling aspects of the service. I was horribly, horribly wrong.

Less than a week after all of this I went down to my local Optus store and changed providers. I got a new phone and a decent package that I’m happy with. After dropping the phone I’ve had to deal with Optus people and yeah, their customer service standards are pretty appalling as well, but you know what? That doesn’t bother me in the slightest, and really, it shouldn’t. I’m only going to have to talk to these people when something goes wrong, and apart from something that was a result of my own stupidity, nothing has. My service and signal are strong and clear, my messages ALL send, I receive all the calls that are made and I can make calls at any time. The funny thing is that these are all pretty STANDARD aspects of owning a mobile phone. I guess I was just with Vodafone Australia for so long that I forgot.

So this is my message to anyone who reads this because Vodafone is screwing them around too – leave. Ultimately they’ll never go bankrupt, and yes they have the best deals, but what is the real cost? Your sanity? Your personal relationships? Nothing is worth losing to the stupidity, selfishness and complete ineptitude that Vodafone Australia seems to pride itself on. Do yourself a favour.

Do me one too actually, if you read this and can relate, or have friends who bemoan their affiliation with this joke of a telco, feel free to RT/repost on Twitter/FB/wherever. I know, after doing some research that I am merely one of thousands dissatisfied with this joke of a company. Hopefully I can provide some kind of inspiration.

UPDATE: Vodafone have in fact read and replied to this blog. It's like they think I have a massive readership. It's not a bad reply, although the fact I can't reply to it myself makes me wonder if its more a PR obligation.... You can read it here