I always wondered what the guys from 'popstars' were doing now...
Anyway the purpose of todays blog is to teach you some of the things I've learnt over more than 5 years in the hospitality industry. If you don't work in the industry, first of all you're a lucky person, but chances are you also know someone who does. Who knows, you might even be able to identify with one or more of these facts as you read. It may well end up turning into a series. Anyway here goes, enjoy!
1. It exacerbates insomnia and skews your sleeping patterns
I was always a bit of an insomniac, or night-owl (are there even day owls?) as the term goes. When I started working in hospitality I didn't immediately notice the difference given my already existing sleeping hours. But slowly over the years these have been drawn out to the point that, unless I'm next to someone, I CANNOT sleep before 2AM. At the earliest. In some jobs you don't even close and get home till 6 in the morning. I'm sure shift-workers can identify with this problem. The key to it lies in the fact that when you come home at an already late time, you can't just automatically switch your body off and go to sleep. If you can you're one of the minority but kudos to you. On top of that dinner normally takes place sometime between 11 and midnight which doesn't help. Ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that when you get home after a long day of putting up with other peoples shit, all you want to do is have some time to yourself, even if that time happens to be in the early hours of the morning. Unfortunately it will ALWAYS get to a point where you start to notice it having a detrimental effect on you in general, from being tired as soon as you wake up, to turning the whole elaborate, tiring and inconvenient process into a routine that weaves its way into your weekly roster.
I was always a bit of an insomniac, or night-owl (are there even day owls?) as the term goes. When I started working in hospitality I didn't immediately notice the difference given my already existing sleeping hours. But slowly over the years these have been drawn out to the point that, unless I'm next to someone, I CANNOT sleep before 2AM. At the earliest. In some jobs you don't even close and get home till 6 in the morning. I'm sure shift-workers can identify with this problem. The key to it lies in the fact that when you come home at an already late time, you can't just automatically switch your body off and go to sleep. If you can you're one of the minority but kudos to you. On top of that dinner normally takes place sometime between 11 and midnight which doesn't help. Ultimately I think it comes down to the fact that when you get home after a long day of putting up with other peoples shit, all you want to do is have some time to yourself, even if that time happens to be in the early hours of the morning. Unfortunately it will ALWAYS get to a point where you start to notice it having a detrimental effect on you in general, from being tired as soon as you wake up, to turning the whole elaborate, tiring and inconvenient process into a routine that weaves its way into your weekly roster.
2. You will forget the meaning of weekends
One of the joys of working in hospitality is that, when everyone else has time off (be it evenings or weekends), your job is to serve them. This means that you work these hours and days, sometimes for penalty rates, sometimes not, and (as mentioned in point 1) until all hours of the morning. At first you might not mind, you'll even justify it to yourself by thinking 'I'm making money, AND I'm not spending any' (by going out). This is folly. While the naivete of the idea will get you through a few months, maybe even a year or two, you eventually start to realise things. You never see your friends anymore, bar for random occasions. Your friends don't bother inviting you places because they know theres a 98% chance that your response will be work-oriented. You miss birthdays, engagements, weddings, christenings, going away parties and generally the human contact you forget that you were used to before you started working in hospitality. This is more your fault than theirs. Instead you end up socialising and befriending the people you work with because, lets face it, there's a chance they're in the exact same boat as you are. They might also be the only other person you know with Tuesdays and Wednesdays off.
3. It will ruin dining out
So maybe 'ruin' is the wrong word to use, but let me say this; Most people, who don't work in hospitality, but consistently go out to restaurants, do so because of either a love of food, socialising, or the fact they have too much money and/or can't cook for shit. When you have worked in a restaurant for a long time, whether you like it or not, you start being overly analytical of everything that goes on when you dine out yourself. You notice the professionalism of the servers, their personality (anyone can just follow a process and smile [though some can't do that], its what they do to make it their own) and levels of attentiveness (from none whatsoever to servers so damn clingy I wish I'd stayed at home). You scrutinize the food, the decor, the ambiance, the music, the cleanliness, everything; comparing it to the standards your restaurant upholds and the personal standards you hold as a server/chef/whatever. Many times you'll be so cynical you don't even stop to enjoy the fact that you're dining out. Would you be like this if you DIDN'T work in a restaurant? No. Are expectations a bad thing? No. What one must realise is that everyone has their own way of doing things. Some good, some not so good. We are comparative creatures, we compare our lot to that of the person next to us and so on. Thats why you have to envy the oblivious nature of the many many people who don't work in this industry.
So maybe 'ruin' is the wrong word to use, but let me say this; Most people, who don't work in hospitality, but consistently go out to restaurants, do so because of either a love of food, socialising, or the fact they have too much money and/or can't cook for shit. When you have worked in a restaurant for a long time, whether you like it or not, you start being overly analytical of everything that goes on when you dine out yourself. You notice the professionalism of the servers, their personality (anyone can just follow a process and smile [though some can't do that], its what they do to make it their own) and levels of attentiveness (from none whatsoever to servers so damn clingy I wish I'd stayed at home). You scrutinize the food, the decor, the ambiance, the music, the cleanliness, everything; comparing it to the standards your restaurant upholds and the personal standards you hold as a server/chef/whatever. Many times you'll be so cynical you don't even stop to enjoy the fact that you're dining out. Would you be like this if you DIDN'T work in a restaurant? No. Are expectations a bad thing? No. What one must realise is that everyone has their own way of doing things. Some good, some not so good. We are comparative creatures, we compare our lot to that of the person next to us and so on. Thats why you have to envy the oblivious nature of the many many people who don't work in this industry.
4. It will teach you social skills
You say social skills these days and most kids probably think of how many likes they've had on Facebook for that witty status update or why someone is no longer your 'friend' on a website. This in itself is a sad observation of the state of social interaction in society, albeit true among the generations now infecting our school system. Whether you've got good skills or not, hospitality can be the industry to bring them out in you. You have to talk to people, be able to engage people, DEAL with people, or you're not going to survive in the industry. There are more to social skills than just talking but that in itself (talking) probably explains why its a female-dominated industry. It teaches you how to deal with women and matriarchy (inevitable in the industry) and also teaches you how to juggle many precarious relationships with various people, and the sects and groups they establish for themselves. It also teaches you that 90% of todays teenagers are fucking idiots who don't care about the quality of their work, or the fact they're even supposed to be there is to work. They will spend most of their time 'socialising' not with the customers, or in any productive means, but within themselves in the hope that they can do it for as long as possible in the hope they get through to sign off time having to do fuck all. Maybe todays teens will be the subject of another rant. Basically, this industry can set you up with a valuable set of interpersonal skills, IF you want to learn it. If you don't, then please just fuck off and stop making me angry.
You say social skills these days and most kids probably think of how many likes they've had on Facebook for that witty status update or why someone is no longer your 'friend' on a website. This in itself is a sad observation of the state of social interaction in society, albeit true among the generations now infecting our school system. Whether you've got good skills or not, hospitality can be the industry to bring them out in you. You have to talk to people, be able to engage people, DEAL with people, or you're not going to survive in the industry. There are more to social skills than just talking but that in itself (talking) probably explains why its a female-dominated industry. It teaches you how to deal with women and matriarchy (inevitable in the industry) and also teaches you how to juggle many precarious relationships with various people, and the sects and groups they establish for themselves. It also teaches you that 90% of todays teenagers are fucking idiots who don't care about the quality of their work, or the fact they're even supposed to be there is to work. They will spend most of their time 'socialising' not with the customers, or in any productive means, but within themselves in the hope that they can do it for as long as possible in the hope they get through to sign off time having to do fuck all. Maybe todays teens will be the subject of another rant. Basically, this industry can set you up with a valuable set of interpersonal skills, IF you want to learn it. If you don't, then please just fuck off and stop making me angry.
The tragic, bouncy future of silver service
5. It makes relationships difficult to manage and maintain
Once again, as a teenager this probably isn't as problematic, as chances are you get to see your boyfriend/girlfriend at school or at least multiple times a week anyway. Working in the industry does start to throw spanners in the works though when things start getting more serious. To tie into point #2, there's a chance that your partner will be one of those people with a 'normal' job. This means that while they work, you're at home, and as you leave for work, they're coming home. When you get home they'll be tired and ready for sleep and work the next day, and as much as you try, you won't always be ready to sleep as well. To tie into #2 again it means you may often not be able to accompany them to the previously mentioned weddings, family events, special moments in peoples lives. As much as both of you may be committed to the cause of trying to make it work, the fact that you scarcely get to see each other apart from maybe 2 nights a week and the fact that you (personally) would rather spend those 2 days with the person and not their friends are detrimental. While your partner goes out on weekends with friends they'll be getting asked "Wheres (insert your name here)?" After a couple of weeks, maybe months, maybe years, their friends will get sick of this, and chances are your partner will too. I'm not saying a job in hospitality will COST you your relationship, it will just make it significantly more difficult to manage, especially with a 'needy' partner. Then you think to yourself "maybe i'll get into a relationship with someone I work with" - bad idea. While not seeing enough of someone can potentially cost you a relationship, seeing TOO MUCH of someone is in many cases worse. Where's the alone time you sought in #1? You have to live every moment of life with that person to the point you can't breathe. Not only that but if you DO get in a relationship with a colleague and it doesnt work out, given the volatility of hospitality workplaces, it may force one of you to resign for the sake of the other. Then again, if you did that, you probably wouldn't have these problems anymore. This isn't just the bf/gf relationship I'm talking about I guess. I never see my parents or my brother, I scarcely see the large majority of my friends. I don't blame anyone for this, it's just an inescapable fact.
I'll leave it there for today. Some of you may have a hospitality job and go 'wtf are you talking about?' - and thats fair enough. If you've found a way to make it all work I applaud you. Nor am I saying I HAVEN'T found a way to make it work. If you've never encountered any of this then you either haven't had the job for long enough or you're oblivious to them. Hospitality is a rewarding industry, a rewarding job (even though the pay is a pittance compared to some people [who do a shitload less]). These are just some of the inescapable facts. Feel free to share your own experiences or call me an idiot. There WILL be more of these.
Until next time..
Until next time..
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