An Open Letter to JB Hi Fi

Okay. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I'm generally an angry person, but not angry in the way that makes you fear for your life. Angry in the way that many other people find amusing unless you're the one receiving my ire. Its been a while since I've felt the need to directly vent my spleen at anyone but given the last few days I think its time, and today's victim - JB Hi-Fi.

always cheapest, but at what cost?

Now, let me first quantify a few things. In my many years in the hospitality industry I've realised the value of good customer service. Not just for pilfering tips off soft targets but being polite, because 9 times out of 10 sincere politeness and manners is a significant part of what makes someone have a good dining experience. You are the face. If the chef fucks the steak you're still the one that the customer is looking at, and venting at. This may even be a case of that, but thats another entry for another time. I also need to quantify that I live in Western Sydney. Don't use that as a basis for judging me but moreso the type of people I'm dealing with. I also need to quantify with the fact that I have WORKED at JB Hi-Fi. I know what the job takes and its not fucking rocket science. If anything retail is the retarded cousin of hospitality. Anyway, time to begin.

The new Primus album 'Green Naugahyde' was, according to the JB Hi-Fi website, supposed to come out last Friday. Filled with excitement and vigor the first thing I did on Friday was head down to Mt. Druitt (I know, I know) to get my hands on a copy. There are normally a minimum of 2 people per section (CD's/DVD's, etc) and one was out on the floor helping a customer. I couldn't find the Primus album myself so I waited for the girl to finish talking to whoever she was talking to and thought she'd be able to help. Immediately after serving the customer, and KNOWING I was waiting to talk to her, she turned on her heels, said nothing to me, and sped out the back to the 'staff only' area. Annoying. At the time I thought 'she's probably gone out the back to get something and will be with me in a moment'. I walked past the door and could count at least 3 people sitting back there. With no clear visible evidence to suggest that any of them were doing anything. One was sitting on a table ffs.

5 minutes passed...

10 minutes passed...

Not a SINGLE PERSON came out onto the floor. Not a single person. YOU'RE A GLORIFIED FUCKING LIBRARIAN YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Anyway, I went up to the front counter, where there were 2 more girls both dealing with customers. Like I say, I've worked at JB and I've got a rough idea of what needs to be done, and most things were not being done. After 5 minutes of waiting in line and suppressing the urge to start breaking shit like a 4 year old I walked out, irate, using my eyes to DARE the fucking security guard to think I'd stolen anything, and went to my car to stew in my own anger.

ironically looking for "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"

Not knowing whether the CD was actually in stock after all that I decided to CALL the Penrith store (about 15-20 minutes away but hey, I wasn't driving there for nothing). I was immediately directed to and helped by Robert (I'm pretty sure I actually used to work with him) and he told me that, alas, MGM had not delivered the albums. He was also nice enough to inform me that Mt Druitt and Penrith were on the same delivery line so one wouldn't get it without the other. He even defended MGM! Saying that they were doing the best they could. He also put my mind at ease by saying he hoped they would have it by Monday at the latest. After the fiasco that was Mt Druitt it was nice to know there was still someone out there who could uphold the morals of customer service.

The weekend came and went, I worked and slept and other stuff, but didn't particularly worry about the CD. I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have arrived over the course of the weekend anyway. That brings me to this morning. I woke up after a considerable and well-deserved sleep in and decided that, instead of wasting my time entering junkie town for perhaps nothing, I should call them. So I did. I got the cheerful response from the front counter girl straight away and asked to be directed to CDs. I was put on hold... for over 2 minutes. This seemed strange to me given Fridays experience. You seriously expect me to believe they were all busy for that long? There? On a MONDAY? Most of the junkie population in Mt Druitt (which is most of them) wouldn't have even been up and functioning yet, still scattered from the night before. Anyway I was eventually taken off hold and this is the conversation that ensued. FF = fuck face, ME = well, me.

FF: Software, this is fuckface (or whatever his name was)
Me: Sorry, did you say software?
FF: Yep
Me: Oh OK, I actually asked for CD's...
FF: Yeah we take care of both (its hard to convey how condescending the cunt was)
Me: Fair enough, anyway I was just wondering if you guys had received the new Primus album yet as it was...
FF: Nuh. MGM still haven't sent it
Me: Oh...(leave a pause for him to say something about maybe WHEN they'll get it, if he knows what the go is, etc.)
FF: ...
Me: Fair enough then...
FF: ....................
Me: *click*

OK. Let me say a few things about this because like I said, it's hard to convey how it all went down. This guy sounded like, wherever he was, he did not want to be there. He sounded like my phonecall had created a massive inconvenience when it came to him sitting on his fucking ass doing nothing. Secondly I asked for CDs, so they would have paged CDs. The uniting of CDs and software is obviously a recent development but how was I to know? If he knew I had a CD inquiry why did he have to be a smart-ass and try to make me feel stupid for not knowing? If he DIDN'T know it still doesn't justify him being a sarcastic prick. The audible annoyance in his voice when I asked about the CD was also incredibly agitating - once again, how was I supposed to know? And then the complete lack of any helpful suggestion or any feeling other than 'leave me alone' at the end of the conversation made me want to reach down the phone and beat the shit out of him with his own ass.

Another bad experience. And I can promise you that, at least until my anger subsides and I get lazy, I will never be setting foot in Mt Druitt JB Hi-Fi again. BUT WAIT, THERES MORE!

After that horrendous experience, and still knowing that they were on the same distribution line, I tried Penrith again. Greeted immediately on the phone, asked for CD's. Instead of waiting for 2 minutes I had a different, almost comical experience where first someone from Car Audio answered within 30 seconds, apologised, then someone from DVD's answered within another 30 seconds and apologised for picking up again before someone from CD's finally answered. I asked my question and was caught entirely off guard when the girl told me that YES! The album had in fact arrived this morning "better late than never". I thanked her for the good news and will be going down tomorrow to pick it up. But then, still bitter about my previous experience, I started to think.

I don't know for certain but I would have to assume that MGM deliver from the city (if you know, please correct me). From the City to Penrith is a long drive, but on the way is Mt Druitt. On the way to or from Penrith, the next nearest store for delivery would undoubtedly be Mt Druitt! Its an inescapable fact. So while I may well be wrong, my anger is compounded by the fact that there is at least a 75% chance that Mt Druitt HAD in fact received their MGM order and this guy was just too lethargic to check or too high to remember. I wish I could remember the guys name so I could post this profanity-laden rant on a JB message board or something.

What do I want after all this? Some good customer service, some honesty, some friendliness. One of the big things that shits me about JB, even when I was working there, is that half the staff take the dog tag they wear as a fucking status symbol. It does not mean you know shit, it doesn't mean you're cooler than everyone, it means you work at JB, in retail, in a job that is (much like I said before) that of a GLORIFIED FUCKING LIBRARIAN. Except you don't even need to know how to read. Which works out well for this next generation of fucking idiots.

I should have expected what I got from Mt Druitt. I know nice people that live there but the place really is a scumbucket. I live 10 minutes down the road so I may well be scum too, but MT DRUITT is the scum THIS piece of scum wipes off the bottom of his shoe. So to any of the JB Hi-Fi staff with superiority complexes - GET THE FUCK OVER YOURSELF. And to the people of JB Hi-Fi, what the fuck is your hiring policy? Maybe you need to retrain your staff on the BASICS like CUSTOMER FUCKING SERVICE. I may be an angry douche alot of the time but when you put me to work in hospitality I treat every fucking customer with a level of friendliess, courtesy, and god forbid - PROFESSIONALISM. You may be able to offer great prices but your staff don't offer any fucking soul. Not the ones in Mt Druitt anyway. Sort it out or burn it to the ground. We all hate our jobs on different days, but its their job nonetheless. If you don't like it go and get on welfare, smoke crack and loiter around carparks and methodone clinics like the rest of your junkie neighbours. Bottom line is that if you live in Western Sydney, and if Mt Druitt is one of your two closest JB Hi-Fi's, go to the other one. You'll save yourself anger, frustration, and the possible contraction of an STI.

JB Mt Druitt employee of the year 2011

So what was the point of this? To get it out and feel better of course, and I surprisingly do. And of course to make you laugh, or get angry, or relate in some way or another thanks to ridiculous customer service at some point. You may also just think I'm petty, in which case you're missing the point. Until next time.